Hello all you spooky people!

So today I am going to be doing something I used to do on this blog, but is going to be a bit different for my newer followers.  I will be writing a list. Today’s list is going to be, as the title gave away, my biggest fears. It is October, the month of Halloween in my book, so I think this is a perfect time to write this list. I am writing it here for your enjoyment, but also for me. I haven’t been keeping up with Inktober, which I was afraid of happening, but it isn’t really to do with me forgetting but more with me not having time to post. I think before I start my list I should share a little background information:

I have recently moved from Florida to New Jersey, which to me was something I have been working toward for awhile. Mike and I moved up here together, but we have been having some difficulties. We moved from Florida right after I graduated from my undergrad. I wanted to have some real seasons, my family lives up here, and it looked like the jobs here for Mike would be really great. It has been a few months and already we are feeling the pressures of the world. It sounds ridiculous to phrase what is happening in this way, but it is true. I cannot find a good paying job where we are currently located, and everything Mike has looked into has been terrible. I was ecstatic at first because the weather has been beautiful, we missed the hurricane that hit Florida, and I have been able to see all of my family. This is where I will start my list:

 

My Biggest Fears:

  1. Making Mistakes. This seems so insignificant, and I have never really allowed myself to accept this as a fear, but I am so afraid that I will make a mistake. Whether it is an everyday mistake, like forgetting my keys or deodorant, or a huge mistake, like- well I don’t really know what big mistakes I am afraid of making. I guess moving was one of them. I was so sure when we moved that it was the best decision to make, and now I am afraid that I chose wrong.
  2. Not making enough money. I think everyone is afraid of this, but I am so nervous that I won’t be able to pay all my bills or that I won’t have enough money for food, and neither of those things are that big of a deal for me right now.
  3. Being late for work. I always get to work super early and just wait in my car. I work not even five minutes from my house, but I always leave a half an hour early and sit in my car until it is time for my to clock in. I think this also has to do with the fact that I am worried about getting yelled at or fired, which I know won’t happen even if I am late, but it bothers me so much.
  4. Getting yelled at. I don’t care what it is for, I am always afraid of getting yelled at. I never do anything wrong, and I make sure that I always follow the rules, especially at work. I have no idea what to do when someone is angry at me. Even if it is my brother or someone I know won’t stay mad for long. It still makes me really worried.
  5. Getting hurt. I think this is another one that everyone is afraid of, but I don’t mean emotionally hurt. I mean physical pain. I always flinch when someone raises their hand, even though I have never really been hit or hurt by someone like that before.

 

I know there are probably a lot more things that I am afraid of but this is what I can handle right now. Hope you have a good night!

 

-Jess Gatsby
Inktober #14  

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